Thursday, October 14, 2010

Insecure dogs and horses

If you're on Face Book you may feel like adding your ideas about Animals NOT living in the "Now"

Have just been talking to the most beautiful, loving, soft natured dog who has some obsessive compulsive behaviours, a low self image, basically he feels/thinks he doesn't have the right to be happy, he fears being left. Have given his a few pep talks spread over a few days, linked him back into the Universal Energy or God Force, reminding him what his potential truly is. Unfortunately I just don't know whether that will be enough to get him through when the compulsions hit him, so have recommended some emotional type energy healing for him, fingers crossed that, combined with what mum will be putting in place emotionally for him, may get him through. On my 3rd or 4th link in with him, I got snuggled, he got right into my neck and face area and just snuggled in there for cuddles, sweet boy even told me he loved me, how's that for a softy?! Absolutely adorable troubled boy, am hoping it all helps enough he can stay healthy and have a chance to allow himself to be loved instead of just loving everyone else...

On a personal note I'm flying high! After 10 mths of Mac not being ridden, he now has been! TWICE! Go my gorgeous Maccy Boy! (and go me! I don't bounce like I did as a kid, and everytime I get dumped in the last 6 yrs I've ended up in hospital, probably why Mac has actually gone 10 mths since the last one!) But we were both ready, the first mounting session was a lesson in town with my instructor who is Mac's security blanket (and mine in a way because I know she can cope with whatever happens even if it is me crapping off hahahaha). The lesson came the day after some fantastic groundwork, but the fantastic groundwork followed me having to have an emotionally charged talk with him, letting him feel just how much I love him. Altho he's never shown it he has gotten a little insecure since I've been riding Smokey so much as he did before Smokey even arrived. I was so excited about all the things I'd be able to do with Smokey that I simply can't with Mac (like ride him bareback, and take off a jacket while I'm on him!) that Mac got rather depressed that he wasn't able to give me everything I wanted. Now the insecurities were back and everytime I tried to tell him (when ever I do anything with him!) how much I loved him I would find my mind drifting to Smokey, and I'd feel guilty and pull it back to Mac. It happened so often I thought I was starting to love Smokey more than Mac!!!

When I told him all the soft mushy stuff before our groundwork it felt like just words, there was no emotional connection with him, and quite suddenly my thoughts went to Smokey and a doubt came in. That's as well as I can explain it. Mac only comes to me in feelings, no words, no images, just straight emotion, can be REALLY tricky getting specific answers to anything from him by the way, and yet he'll "talk" to others LOL (I say it's because we're soooooooo connected ;o) Anyway this doubt came in as I thought of Smokey and eureka! I got it! Basically Mac was saying "Are you sure? I don't think you do" and inserting Smokey in there instead, aaaaaaaaaaw, my staunch as, dominant ass of a sensitive horse was thinking I didn't love him anymore! And it was HIM who kept making me think of Smokey, it wasn't ME! (Gawd, see how much they are always in our heads causing us havoc?!) So I told my boy the truth... I told him just what he means to me, just how much I love him, he brought tears to my eyes, but he let me back in and accepted all I was saying and hey presto, that emotional connection was back, it'd been HIM blocking that too!

We also had a little chat about letting go of past issues, that his past is just the first rung on a ladder that brought us together, that that ladder and his journey up it was infinitely precious because of where he has ended up, that his journey up that ladder has been a blessed journey and that I'm eternally grateful that he decided to take that journey. We had a lovely groundwork session, relaxed, calm, focussed on me completely (not a small thing since I'd put the other 2 out of the arena and into the back yard for more grass and Mac was 100% certain when I caught him he was going there too! hahaha!) My Maccy Boy was back with me.

So the next day was our lesson and he stood like a rock, it was like we'd gone back in time to last October before everything happened and just picked up where we left off.

And the next day we got back on at home, all by ourselves! I must confess I was nervous, for my ADHD boy who needs his routines, although we'd been doing ground work in the arena he's never been ridden in there before and the wind had flicked round to a sou'east which he hates more than the usual nor'west which he also hates, how dare the wind change direction?! But again, he stood like a rock and after 15 mins of walk and trot he decided he'd finished and stopped dead! He's never done that before (tried it at the lesson to when I was just finishing off with some mount-walk off-dismount)

So very proud of him, and very proud of myself getting over my lack of faith in my boy (cause lets face it, altho falling doesn't hurt, landing on the deck sure does!) but we're FINALLY all go again!

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