Sunday, May 12, 2019

It's been a while....

2 yrs... where does the time go???  The boy child had his 13th birthday, the day time work ticks on day after day, breaking the body but paying the bills, animals come and go in the cycle of life and death, some days feel like the most beautiful and gratifying expression of the Universe's creation and other days feel like I'm stuck in a holding pattern waiting for something to happen.

Watching Remington (who was my beloved first dog Joe) play with the newest addition the 3 mth old kitten Bear (who was Joe's companion Zak, who was then Remington's brother Ruger, who a month after costing me $1300 with bladder crystal got himself wiped out on the road.)  Ruger was like Zak was in his old age, loving, devoted, somewhat gentle.  Bear (so named because we called Ruger Rugie Bear) is like Zak was as a youngster, the devil incarnate LOL.  HARD, stroppy, fearless, rough.  He terrorises the older cats LOL.  Anyway, watching them play (fight) they are oblvious to anything but the fight (play LOL).  They are oblivious to the knot of fear twisted in my guts because I haven't heard from someone for a couple of days, oblivious to the fact I wouldn't normally be up at 7am on a Sunday, except I can't sleep and I'd rather try to address what is going on in my head than just lie there, eyes shut, following the swirling thoughts and emotions as if I have to with no choice... So I have gotten up and NEED an outlet for what is going on... I have always found that putting something out there, into the light of day, out of the darkness in my head, gives me leave to put it down, to leave it behind, to deal with it, and I KNOW that the twist of fear sitting in my guts is NOT doing me or anyone else any good and I KNOW it is directly affecting anything I want to manifest in my life... So I picked up a couple of books in the half light this morning, started with a snippet of Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch and I was up to the part about everything coming from 2 emotions, love or fear, and that for that very reason what we love we tend to destroy and then love again, as love sponsors fear and fear sponsors love and we get caught up in that cycle... And I know this, but it is heavy going for 7am on a Sunday and so I turn to my long time favourite that says all the same things in a much more light hearted and easy reading fashion, Illusions by Richard Bach.

Have loved this book completely since I read it when I was about 12, gosh that is WELL over 30 yrs ago now and the first piece from the Messiah's Handbook is fitting...

Perspective ~
Use It or Lose It
If you turned to this page,
you're forgetting that what is going
on around you is not reality.
Think about that
Remember where you come from
where you're going and why you created
the mess you got yourself into in the first place.
You're going to die a horrible death, remember
It's all good training, and you'll enjoy it 
more if you keep the facts
in mind.

Take your dying with some seriousness, however.
Laughing on the way to your execution
is not generally understood by less-
advanced life-forms, and they'll
call you crazy.

Needed that instant reminder today... All is unfolding as it should, hindsight thru my life has always shown that things work out in the best way even if it doesn't seem like it for that moment in time when things are creaking and groaning and still being unfolded.

I love this book, it should be on everyone's reading list!!!  So I'm going to continue reading and knowing this state of fear is now "out there" publicly, I HAVE to address it and do something about it... that is the way I work LOL.

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers out there, whether it be to the 2 legged variety, the furred and feathered kind, or the dads who are mums too.  This is your day to be celebrated and to celebrate yourselves for doing one of the hardest and most thankless jobs out there.

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Synchronicity, Learning, Growth and Unconditional Love

I'm a great believer in all of the above... synchronicity, you know, those co-incidences that are just too great to be "co-incidence", the things that are timed perfectly to point us in a certain direction, change the direction we're heading in, give us strength when you need, those stepping stones that may not look like much at the time, but with hindsight you can often see how massive they were in reality.

Learning and Growth, well heck, they just go hand in hand don't they?!  Sadly a lot of learning tends to come in the form of "challenges" which can be way too easy to see as negatives in our lives, unless again (often with hindsight) you are able to look on the circumstances and give thanks for what you learned, what you are learning, where you ended up.  That attitude of gratitude can really shift your perspective of things.

Unconditional Love.... easy right????  We have it for our animals, we have it for our children, some of us are lucky enough to claim it for our partners.  It was something I knew I should be striving for, I knew I didn't have it, not even for my animals or my child, but I wanted it and had no idea how to get it...  I read the stuff about what it is.... sure I can accept someone as they are, as long as....... hahahaha and the list of conditions would go out there!  I can love someone without needing them to love me in return, heck don't we do that when someone we love has left us?!

OMG, I had NO idea what it was!  It made sense, I could see how I thought it should look and then I happened upon it, in one of those synchronistic events.  A chance chat on line which lead to an opportunistic meeting while teaching on of my courses in the same town, and the rest as they say is history.

I'm not sure you'll be able to grasp just what, or rather HOW I've learned the unconditional part without knowing the whole story but it's long and complicated and I'll shorten as much as I can because I guess that only sets the scene it's not what is important.

I met a beautiful soul, one that I instantly recognised and who recognised me, from the other side of the tracks to me, I was a cop, he was a fringe dweller (you know would call them a crim if they'd ever been caught LOL) in somethings complete opposites and yet we were complete mirrors to each other, like looking inside your own head.  I guess some would call it the twin soul.  Meeting him was like coming home.  But life hasn't been kind to him and he is completely and utterly screwed up, manic depressive due to chemical poisoning, some bizarre health issue that has since buggered his heart, liver issues due to alcohol dependency and the list goes on and on... This dear soul has no will to live left, no strength to fight the fight that is needed to LIVE rather than just survive and I felt the immense NEED to help him, as if I was helping myself.  Lets give him a reason to live!!!  Lets let him know and never let him forget that he is loved, just as he is!!!  (OMG I'm loving unconditionally!!!  Go me!!!!)  And yet it wasn't enough for him, being loved by a new comer was not enough for him to say "hell yes, lets sort some of this shit out and free up some energy for living!"  and so I was devastated, and wallowed in misery.... this man had just taught me unconditional love!!!  how could he reject my help?!

I tried everything I could think of to help him!  I talked to him daily, went and visited when he hit rock bottom, visited again to help him physically sort some stuff out on the property that needed to be done, I showered him with positivity, spiritual quotes, whatever, you name it.  If he's so much like me, if I went thru all that crap of depression and the rock bottom I hit just to understand what it was like to help him, then I HAD to be able to actually help him!  I made deals with the powers that be in relation to doing healing, I negotiated with the rest of my life in service to that, I kept a near constant link with him and worked on keeping positivity flowing in his direction (let me just say here that that can be a challenge when someone has been on antidepressants for nearly 40 yrs!  did you know they CAUSE suicidal and homicidal thoughts?!  Believe me I know, I was on the receiving end of them as that link worked both ways!)

Nothing was helping, NOTHING!  I was failing!  I was failing to repay what I owed this soul who had taught me everything about unconditional love!

Then everything changed.  He went from trying to push me away, which I could deal with, heck I understood why he was doing it on every level, we are mirrors to each other remember, to blocking me out completely.  We went from talking for HOURS every night to him not contacting me for half a week or more at a time, and that continued for 3 months.  And I started questioning what the heck I was doing!  Why the hell am I wasting all my time doing healing and energy trying to keep things "positive" for this ungrateful sod?  The only thing that kept me practicing my "unconditional love" (hahahaha) was the fact that prior to him blocking me out completely, I KNEW without a doubt, if I walked away from him, the last thing holding him here would be gone, the walls would go up and he would exit stage left into the great beyond at a reasonable speed... So I kept at it.  I sent texts and messages to inspire, to remind him that he was not unloved and not alone and persisted, because that's what unconditional love is!  It's not giving up just because someone doesn't or can't show you love in return....

And then more synchronicity happens along and I start talking to someone on the spiritual path too who is a great distraction in the evenings which used to be full of talking and were insufferable because they weren't... and I was able to tell him about all the above and he understood it and supported me and said "you've got this!"

Another layer peeled off that onion of Unconditional Love.... and in explaining it all to him, I realised that what I had been doing came with the condition of me being able to help him, because I owed him spiritually for this greatest gift I had ever had... I had to be able to repay that because I would never have made a contract, now or in spirit that would accept such a gift without being able to ease some suffereing for him... I was able to love him as he is.... warts and all, bad sucky attitudes, disrespect, lack of communication, whatever, didn't matter, I understood it, I accepted it and him as he was, BUT he HAD to accept my help!!!

Well he hasn't... I don't know if he will... that is his choice and his journey and I don't know what is coming, but I have faith in what I would have chosen for my life, I have faith that I would never take without giving and that perhaps now, what I can give him is the peace of not feeling like he has to push me away, that he doesn't have to run from what I am trying to push upon him, that if he doesn't feel like he has to run from it, he can be free to just receive it.  And it won't save his life, I can't fix everything for him, but I no longer need him to accept what I'm offering either.  It has TRULY gone unconditional.  I'm not sure there can possibly be another layer to this learning, unless it's to learn how to do it to EVERYONE at once LOL.  I've got it to the point of being able to offer this to more than one person at a time, but it does seem to be only people I have connected with in some way.  Others, well they will say or do something and I will still raise an eyebrow with a "seriously?  You are such a numpty!"  That too shall pass I'm sure of it LOL.

I thought I knew what unconditional love was.... and then I found out I was so far off the mark.... and then I thought I knew what unconditional love is, and I was still missing the mark, each time I thought I had it or understood it, something else would happen and I'd have to re-evaluate and let go of more and more control.  I THINK I have it now... it is so freeing, so wonderful, so bland!  LOL.  Whatever they do is OK, it is almost like there are no highs and no lows, but it sure as heck isn't middle of the road, it is so compassionate, so deep, so incredibly spiritual....

I thank the powers that be every day for bringing me this, while sitting on that little voice of ego that says "but, it should be....."  It's all perfect as it is.  They are all perfect as they are.  I am perfect as I am, even in wanting to help, it's OK to want to help, but I can't take away someone else's choices with that help, even if it is "whats best for them".  I don't remember the game plan we made prior to coming here, but I trust that I made good bloody choices and there are reasons that will become clear, and so I sit back and offer unconditional Love, loyal and true, supportive and quiet. 

You're doing great, wherever you are, whatever step in your journey you're in, however hard or easy it may seem right now, you're doing great, and with all my heart I Love you all, as you are right this very moment....

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

2016 a year of "firsts"

The first snows of winter have hit the sunny south, absolutely breathtaking views with it sitting in the hills, and it can stay up there in the hills too!

So 2016 has so far brought some exciting avenues for expansion in that I am now teaching YOU guys how to do animal communication!   Yes!  That's right, I have always loved teaching and teaching others that this is not a "gift" I'm "lucky" to have but a SKILL I have learned to develop and that you can do it too, is a wonderful opportunity to teach a passion and enrich some more lives, 2 legged and 4 :D

Have so far done my first course here in sunny Marlborough, have one fully booked for Auckland in less than 2 weeks time and Tauranga the week following (still has a couple of spaces spare, who's keen?!)  Invercargill is teed up for Labour Weekend in October, so it's all fun times ahead and house sitters galore for all the kids being left behind (I hate going away and leaving the babies behind!)

And on the note of babies, you haven't been introduced yet to Ruger and Remington, the 2 kittens that we got in January, 2 gun metal grey (can you tell by their names?!) fluffy, GORGEOUS boys.  Will have to find some photos for you, they are just adorabubble!

 The colours look all washed out, but they just happened to always be with background colours too similar to them LOL.  Remi is the first one, Ruger is snuggled up with Vada's feet, and the two of them together :D 

I'll share a little secret with you.... Ruger and Remi are my boys Joe and Zak (dogs) come back for some more action.  Joe (Remi) is just loving being a cat, the same way he was a soft but preditory dog, Ruger is my love bunny Zak and is much more "friendly" as a cat in that sense. 

So so special to have my boys back with me <3 br="">

Monday, December 7, 2015

Christmas has Come Early - Half Price Consults Available for a Very Short Time!!!

Gosh, once again, I put something on Face Book and think it's been yelled from the roof tops, but haven't put it anywhere around here or the actual website, so very quickly here goes!

Back in July I offered a Birthday special for horses, 1/2 price consults, what a wonderful birthday present being able to finally be heard! 

And now I am offering the same for dogs and cats!  $20 (NZ) for up to 3 questions, $40 for up to 6 questions (a complete pittance once you factor in most exchange rates!) and of course paypal is available for overseas clients for ease and security of paying.

So if you have ANY animals, horses, dog, cats if you email me and say you read it in the blog (or on the website when I get it up on there too!) you can have the discounted price for a consult as long as it is paid for by the 17th December.

Email me on with your photos, questions etc and we can go from there!

Merry Christmas to you and all your family from me and all my babies xxx

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

2015 is a busy year!

Hi all, going back to work full time since I picked up a mortgage again, has meant that I sort of forgot I had a blog!

Still, better to read nothing than read rubbish right?!

A quick update on fur kids.  A year ago I got the chance to rehome a gorgeous black great dane called Vada, he was 2yrs old then and 3 now.  Oh my, what a beautiful soul, love him to bits and then some, oops and as I look at him on this cold and wet first day of spring he is shivering, so excuse me while I put his jacket on for him :D

And a couple of weeks before Vada arrived I got my little piglet Barney, who is now 1yr old and a lot bigger!  I must get some more photos of the big boy!  He enjoys showing how gentle he is by taking my finger in his mouth (and NOT biting it LOL) but we do not try that when food is around, that would just be dumb!!!!  Greedy big boy he is!

Still 3 goats and I think I introduced the cats at some point?  Cassidy was found at 3am over grape harvest when he was a literal cats eye in the middle of the road at about 4 weeks of age and I missed him by an inch in a fully laden 10 ton truck, he had an army of guardians with him that night!  And Tom is the pitch black kitten that Marcus wanted all of his own and he is now 2 1/2 yrs.

Leo is still my little fluffy shadow and loving having another dog to play with again. 

Horses are doing well, poor old Mac hasn't been ridden for about 3 yrs now but man I've been having a ton of fun with Smokey!!!  Trail rides, Endurance, Jumping and yes, altho we may be condemned for it, we even went hunting over winter which Smokey was thrilled to bits with, he loved it and moaned when the hunt season finished last month. 

Marcus is doing really well at school this year, after a REALLY bad year last year (a change of schools) has played rugby for the first time this year AND did a lead rein 5km trail ride on Smokey AND had a lesson on him last weekend when he said he wanted to ride him.  First time he has shown as interest in getting on a horse and he's a natural!!!!   Might be bringing Mac into work again if the boy keeps trying to claim my pony as his!!!!

Did a horse birthday promotion which has resulted me in STILL trying to get consults done from that, "happy birthday" to a lot of horses, so fantastic they get a chance to be heard!

Right let me go and find some photos of the new kids and show off my little wild pony Smokey!

Monday, February 10, 2014

2014 the Year of the Horse and being an Alchemist...

Don't ask me what that means for the year because I have no idea, but lets face it, if it's anything to do with horses we'd better make it a good year for ourselves huh?!

Another year of being slack posting on the blog, crikey!  Last year not only did we farewell my gorgeous old Zak, but my darling, placid Dozer left us too.  Only time he's EVER tried to jump into the vehicle by himself was when we were heading into the vets for the last time, poor sweet boy.

The communication work has been ticking along for the last year, the trip to Taranaki was brilliant, had a few hiccups on the home front and the horses are still taking a back seat to work and being tired and everything else that conspires to get in the way.  Having said that Smokey and I did a 20km Endurance ride which was BRILLIANT, managed to wipe an hour off the time we would normally have done a trail ride in and Smokey just loved it.  Did a couple of days show jumping too, well, it would have been a couple of days if I hadn't fallen off in the first round on the first day and concussed myself LOL.  Ended up being only really one day of jumping (the next day) but he did really well that 2nd day, very pleased :)

The cats are great, I bought Leo (the sole remaining dog!) a new car so he could finally have a back seat and trip around with us more now he's an only child, it's amazing how that mentally tires him out hehehe, and I'm on the look out for a piglet to add to the family as some company for Leo, can't wait to track one down!

2013 personally was another year of challenges for me... I've always been a positive person, but the last 2 yrs really sat me on my butt and I have learned what depression is and the addiction of that type of wallowing pain and even knowing all of Eckhart Tolle's teachings inside out didn't make it any easier to set that pain down and leave it there.  'Holding it with Awareness' didn't work, 'watching it' didn't work, I could acknowledge at the time it was ego and pain body but it didn't stop me clinging to it and being miserable and making those around me miserable, very strange thing depression!!!

So I decided I needed to do something to be able to shift this stale, stagnant, blocked energy that was/is the "pain body" as ET describes it and I needed to rework what I knew from his stuff to work for me.  Lets face it, us Aquarians are great at reinventing the wheel LOL!!!

While thinking of how and what to do to help, into my mind popped "Alchemy."  As a kid in science class alchemy always fascinated me and when it popped into my mind I realised that is exactly what I needed to do, alchemy!  Change a base energy into a pure one, a sluggish, heavy energy into a pure more elevated energy, I needed to become an alchemist :)

It was/is very simple and pretty easy in reality, much like energy healing it is simply all intent, so my conversation with myself and the Powers that Be would go something like this... "this fear (or pain, or whatever it was) is a base energy that I am transmuting to the pure vibration of the Source, this energy is being lifted from heaviness to purity, just like alchemy this heavy energy is becoming something of value and purity." and more to that effect, the funny thing was how well it damn well worked!!!!  I certainly hadn't expected it to work like it did!!!  As the energy shifted vibration (and it did, pretty much every time!) it would set off full body, all over tingles, you KNEW it was happening, you could feel it happening plain and simple and the best part was unlike "putting something down" and trying to walk away from it, when you inevitably would end up returning to it and picking it up again, there was nothing to pick up again!!!!  That particular energy had transformed!  It was great :)  It IS great, I just need to remember to do it each time it's needed LOL.

On the plus side all of the 'challenges' have been relationship based and when the darling man finally decided he actually wanted to be in this relationship and has had his own major energy shift happen, it has been a lot easier to stay away from the stinking thinking anyway!

On my personal wall on FaceBook I was challenged to do a 365 days of daily gratitude, knowing I needed it I took up that challenge and we are now 1/3 of the way thru that particular year!!!  I tried to do one solely animal based on the Talk To Your Animals FaceBook page too, but heck keeping up 2 of them even on a decent day was just too hard, maybe once this 365 days it up I'll carry it on on the other page too :)

So, so far 2014 is kicking off to be another year of growth and expansion, and still challenges a plenty but I'm feeling more equipped to actually deal with them constructively instead of bashing my head again a brick wall like I've been doing lately LOL.

Here's hoping the Year of the Horse brings you great learning as only a horse can do, the perfect mirrors they are, so don't be surprised if this year you don't start finding out what it is in yourself that you see in others that bugs you so much hehehe.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Nearly Spring! What are your plans for the time of new birth fast approaching?!

Had a wonderful time up in New Plymouth and surrounds, full on days with consults and some wonderful evenings explaining Animal Communication what it is, how it works and hopefully some people will start learning more about it and putting it into practice!

Said farewell to my Bull Mastiff Dozer just before I went up north and now Leo is the only dog at home!  He was a bit lonely to start with, but he's settling.

Cats are both great hunters, often bringing birds inside at 2 or 3am!  Little buggers must be nest robbers!

Horses are good, Smokey had a great lesson with the wonderful Vicki Wilson and we both loved it, now to find energy after my working day is done and start getting him fit enough for the coming season of anything! 

Already noticing the extra light in mornings and evenings, is so great to see!  We have had such an incredibly mild winter, trees are already getting ready to bud down here, a whole orchard of cherry trees starting to bud!  Hope we don't get too many more frosts or that'll stuff them up!

Am making a commitment to Smokey this season, poor boy really missed out on doing anything for the last couple of years, have had a lot of things to sort out in my own life and I finally feel like I'm actually getting ahead there which is cool.  A lot of personal struggles and growth, a wee breakthru for me even just last night when I managed to NOT identify with the pain, where I could see it as separate and that the cause of the pain was really not real!!!  I was able to hold the pain, stay aware of it and every time I did it simply wasn't there!  Very strange.... when I relaxed my vigilance it was back and trying to convince I had every right to be hurt blah blah blah, begin to wallow in it, think about what I was doing, be aware of the pain and the unreality of it, that it was NOT me, and hey presto gone again.  Quite enlightening and I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere in this journey, so now time to get on with living and give my gorgeous and oh so patient babies the attention they deserve!

Marcus is growing like a weed, has lost 2 of his baby teeth and has settled into school (finally!) really well, a smart kid, with a good heart but an arrogance I wonder how we're going to manage later!  Still, he doesn't mind hugging his mum in public so all good for now!

So who has any plans for the rest of the year/season they want to share?  I love to hear others enthusiasm and their plans, it's catchy, and I'll need the extra encouragement when I come home tired and need to get out there and ride!