Well I meant to post this last week, but got busy with hubby's birthday and going down to Christchurch for the weekend, so better late than never!
I think I mentioned earlier somewhere about finally "finding" Joe clearly very much within myself when I got his "I'm ready". I continued to have to go within myself to have that clarity when hearing him. I talked with him all the way into the vets, extracting promises that he'd stay around (at least when called or needed!) Forgot all that stuff when it came time to do the deed and he was once more my "dog" to be sobbed over. We left him there to head off to be cremated and went to drive home. About 1 minute into the journey Marcus in the back calls out "DoeDoe, where are you?" It reminded me of course to check if he was still "here" and hey presto there he was still very much inside me (in that I didn't have to seek him out if you like) I asked him how he was and got "light as a feather" and so we chatted all the way home. It appears Joe, my guardian angel has decided to keep that role and has established himself as a "guide" if you'd like to call it that...
He has promised to answer all my questions unless it's 'cheating' LOL and on a down side he has maintained he can't be a "ghost" (haven't had one yet, he was supposed to be my first!) if he's inside me! Guess that makes sense in a weird sort of a way!
So the grieving was complete a minute after we left the vets, I still think I see him out the corner of my eye when I'm around all the other dogs, but it's just that I've seen him for so long, I still expect too.
A lovely friend who is to blame for this whole "communication" thing taking off gave me a voucher for a stretched canvas for Christmas. Had taken quite a nice photo of me with Joe and Tai on Tai's last day so got that one put on it. It arrived over the weekend and is now hanging in the kitchen, where Marcus points up and goes all cutey cutey saying, "mmmmmmmm, Tar, DoeDoe" He'll get to remember them through photo's at least!