Monday, May 16, 2011

Musings on an Ego that Sabotages Us

Lets think about this ego some more... everything you hear about it or read about it etc, it is talked about as if it is the enemy. It is at odds with the Universe, it is fear based not Love based, it appears to be an out of control, negative, entity that we think is us.

But WHY does it sabotage us in what we want? I mean to say, how did this thing that is apparently not us, take over, make us want more than we can have, make us want what we don't have, and when we get it it makes sure that any pleasure we get from it is short lived, going so far as to cause us to break a relationship that could well have been the right one...

How did the ego get this strong? And why does it fear what it gets when it wanted it in the first place? This has puzzled me since I've been hearing more and more about it...

Perhaps it is simply here so that we can learn how to tranform it... Kebzeh talks about the ego as "our greatest treasure" to be transformed by Love. You cannot rid yourself of it and to try will give you vinegar, but to transform it with Love you will get sweeter and sweeter wine. Makes sense. ET talks about it as the mind. You still need it, but it is a tool to be picked up and put back down when not needed so that it is not constantly "chattering" in your head and in control. So understood that we cannot get rid of it, and for me, knowing it is our sense of individuality for 'afterwards' I wouldn't want to get rid of it, so now onto the 'why?' part of the pondering.

Perhaps it is always looking for the transformation we need to apply to it through the Love aspect... ego seems to always want more, when it gets what it wants it is never satisfied for long. More money, more possesions, a better job for more security, a better relationship, someone who 'gets us', someone who can accept us as we are even though we can't accept them, there is always something missing from what we get that the ego keeps searching for more. Perhaps, just perhaps what it is seeking it will only find when we have actually learned to live beyond ego and yet it fears us doing that too! It tries to make all manner of excuses to keep us from finding that 'God' Love that would enable it to be fulfilled, if indeed that is a reason.

We are here in reality to experience "more." As Jesus said (the only times in the Bible he actually said what his purpose here was) "I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly." So he came that we may be lead to having more but in a complete and healthy way, rather than ego or fear based.

ET has also said, NOT wanting what 'is' is a contraction of yourself, which goes to follow the same type of reasoning as both Jesus and ET, that to want 'more' but in a non fear based way is actually an expansion of yourself. And here ego can be a valuable tool if used as a 'tool.' Ego is that 'drive' that we have, sure for some people ego can also be a fear of failure hinderance, but it is that burning desire to obtain more, so if directed correctly it could be used as that 'push' to expand ourselves right? If transformed through Love to be working for us rather than just rampaging out of control, it would be helping the expansion of the Energy of the Creator to expand as we ourselves expand.

So that makes sense to me I guess, (gotta love typing this stuff out because in the 2 days thinking about it, that really hadn't presented itself to me LOL) so now where did the fear factor come into it? All the spiritual teachers, the authors, the whoever, talk about ego being fear based, being a negativity based thing, so when or where did this negativity come into it? Obviously if it is transformed by Love it is lacking Love right? If it is fear based or negative based, then it is lacking the opposite which is the 'positive' of Love, so how did it lose "Love" like that? Or was that sense of self, that sense of separation that it is all about, the key to that part? In order to separate from the whole you almost have to be the opposite don't you... a bit like the yin yang symbol, together it makes the whole but within that whole there are the separate pieces and they are opposite to each other and yet containing a part of each other. Is it then, that when we were exploring that sense of self so completely that we expanded THAT lack of Love aspect? And in the exploration and fun we had with that sense of self that we pulled away from the Whole and the Ego continued to grow in its 'opposite' aspect until we identified with it so completely it became 'us.'

I don't know! Suppose it could be, it all makes sense to me at least LOL, others might think completely differently! Just been wondering how the ego got to be like it is, no one seems to have answered that :o)

So it can of course be healed with Love, it can of course be brought back under control, not by contracting it - by trying to shrink it, but instead by expanding OURSELVES through Love to once again be bigger than it, so it again works for us and not against us.

Feel free to give your thoughts, would be interested to hear what others think about this!

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